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[MonRoyal 0]

Hi zusammen,

ich bin gestern über einen Beitrag im RSD-Forum gestoßen, der auf mich als Self-Development-Junkie voll zutrifft. Vielleicht könnt ihr ja was damit anfangen:

Von 10Pin http://www.[Link unzulässig].com/node/143548

Here's a thought:

To get a workable set of skills, the place where you get a few numbers and, say, a lay each month, only takes a few months.

Now this isn't to do the learning process a disservice - I have spent two years learning this stuff and still continue to improve. But the one thing I have noticed over that time is that the overwhelming majority of obstacles I have faced in learning the game have been obstacles of my own creation. Make no mistake, mastering this game is not about "You VS The Girl", "You VS the AMOGs", or even "You VS the cockblock". Mastering this game from the perspective we discuss here on RSDn ultimately comes down to just one battle: "You VS You".

If you've been at this for a long time and you aren't getting anywhere, you need to ask the question WHY. But the answer is, in my opinion, probably not an answer many people will tell you. Let me explain:

As the community has shifted away from being concerned with what lines to say at a particular time, we've begun to focus more on ourselves - this 'self-actualisation' we talk of. This though, in my opinion, can become an incredibly self-defeating process for a lot of guys. Every time I log on to RSDn, I see people concerned with things they ultimately don't need to concern themselves with. And that concern - an important word - bleeds through into the parts of natural game which ultimately do matter: confidence, self-acceptance, and self-comfort.

If you look at the atypical 'pickup artist', he is constantly striving for perfection. 100% game. I've been there and its a world of diminishing returns. Not good. We haven't fully evolved from that mindset though; the vast majority of us are still searching after some elusive end-point at which, HUZZAH, perfection will be achieved. Sure, we have shifted the paradigm from outer-game perfection to inner-game perfection, but the quest after perfection is still the same self-defeating, happiness-cancelling thought-process going on.

Lets look at the naturals that we've sought to model ourselves on for a minute. The naturals I know - and I've been fortunate to know a few - are riddled with problems. One of my best friends dates four women, but lives at home and is unemployed. Another of my friends who is dating an absolute beauty, drinks too much and takes far too many drugs. Should we strive for these qualities? No. Drug abuse and living at home at 25 are generally not positive traits. But what I think we would be far better served by, instead of all this chasing perfection, is their level of self-acceptance.

You can be entirely un-present and still pull. You can be negative as hell and still pull. You can lead a boring life and still pull. You can have no 'path' and still pull. Hell, you don't even need to be that cool to pull. But I see a lot of guys on here who stress over these points when really, self-acceptance, right action, and trust in auto-correction would take them far closer to where they want to go.

Think about it: when a girl shit-tests you, what is she looking for? Lots of things, but one of the major things is that she's not really bothered about the logical entity she's criticising you for, she is far more interested in your emotional response to that item. So when you think about these negative things - these 'flaws' in your game - are they really causing the problem? Or is it the fact that you think you have a problem that somehow must be fixed? I guarantee you that the latter will have far more weighing on the outcome of the interaction.

If you have self-doubt, if you are anxious, if you don't think you are worthy, if you don't think you can pull it off - THAT matters far more than any lack of presence, bad state etc. But when we see the game as one where we chase perfection, becoming aware of our imperfections can precisely cause self doubt, anxiety, a lack of entitlement.

Guys are creating problems because they are addicted to finding solutions; addicted to acquiring knowledge. And you are surrounded by all the different parties who are more than happy to continue this cycle:

-The companies that need you to have problems so they can sell solutions;

-The aspiring PUA who wants the rep of reinforcing the party line

-The well-intentioned guy who posts also to reinforce his own beliefs

But the only real problem is that the guys are creating problems for themselves. Tying their mind in Gordian knots. What is fucking you up? Is it your lack of lifestyle, or the fact that you think you need a lifestyle to pull?

I look at a night like last night, and it was a joke. Too easy. Did we use anything advanced? No. Did anyone in the club give a shit about us? No. Are we rich? No. Were we present? Probably not all the time. Do we have amazing lifestyles? No. Was I a bit nervous? Quite possibly, and I certainly wasn't 'in state'. Were we both a little bit overweight? Yes, haha. Did my friend and I both pull? Yes.

I'm not saying this to be edgy, to go against the grain for the sake of doing so. I'm saying it because I've chased perfection, and its not healthy. We create a lot of problems by our own hand. Self-improvement is the name of the game and it really is what we should be doing - but just because we are not perfect right now does not stop us going up to that hottie and taking her home at the end of the night. Just because we don't have good state. Just because we are not present. Just because we live with our parents; are jealous; are insecure; are externally validated. We should strive to improve - and yes, being a chilled-out, positive, secure, internally-validated guy is going to improve your odds of success - but the fact we are not yet complete should not cause us to defer our results, our success, until we one day reach the magical end-point of 'inner game perfection'. These things are only obstacles if we choose to see them as such; only problems if we are looking for problems.

All the guys stressing on their imagined shortcomings. This is not healthy. This is your problem, the ones that you create for yourself. Your focusing on your problems. And when you have no problems, you create new ones for yourself so you can keep the cycle going. "Flawless State" yadda yadda yadda. Chasing perfection.

This is not healthy. Wake up.

The longer you stay in the cycle the better you may feel - after all, you're solving problems on a daily basis, right? - but the point is that you stay in the cycle, you never go anywhere. You need to break out of the cycle in order to progress. To stop searching endlessly for conditions you can improve, areas you can work on. Stop being a student and just fucking do it man. People in here are determined to find new ways to tell themselves they aren't enough. New ways to subtly reinforce themselves as a chode. Wake up. If I can do it, you can.

Game takes a few months to learn. If you are taking longer than that, you need to look at yourself and figure out why exactly you are making it harder for yourself. Self-improvement is a great thing, and we should always strive to be grow and develop, but self-improvement only serves us well when it is built on a foundation of self-acceptance.

Tim said you need to think you have 10 game. Remember it!

Die Kommentare im Thread sind auch genial!

Schönen Gruß

MonRoyal

[Gast D_perfect]

Ich liebe RSD.

Ich habe schon seit ein paar Wochen einen Artikel in Planung mit dem Titel "Wie wir unsere eigene Hölle erschaffen" und dieser Post trifft einen (wenn nicht DEN) Kernpunkt. Perfektion. Die meisten Naturals die ich kenne haben echte Issues in ihrem Leben, die ich nicht haben will. Du kuckst die Typen an und fragst dich: Hölle, wie kommen die eigentlich in ihrem Leben klar?!?! Die erfolglosen, gescheiterten und hart kämpfenden Frauenlosen, die ich kenne (mich eingeschlossen) haben alle eins gemeinsam. Sie sind scheiss clever, haben fast immer Perspektiven und das Wissen, um in allen Richtungen weiterzukommen, aber sie kommen mit ihren Grenzen nicht klar. Sie sehen immer die Löcher und Fehler, die sich überall auftun und wollen noch besser werden, noch unangreifbarer, noch männlicher, noch stärker. Kennt jemand die Serie Two and a half men?!? Ich kann mich echt nicht entscheiden, wer von beiden der Looser ist...aber wer mehr Erfolg mit Frauen hat ist sonnenklar.