The Big Picture Melde Dich an, um diesen Inhalt zu abonnieren 2 2

[TheTruth 21]

Ich bin normalerweise nicht derjenige der aufspringt und laut EXACTLY ruft, wenn jemand eine nette Theorie zu Pickup veröffentlicht. Vieles muss zunächst im Field getestet werden, einiges klingt nach "New age" mythen und anderes ist einfach schlichtweg Schrott.

Was allerdings den letzten Newsletter von RSD angeht, so habe ich gedacht, daß LoverBoy meine Gedanken gelesen, und sie sprachlich besser verpackt hat als ich es könnte. Eigentlich sollte es gesunder Menschnverstand sein, aber bekanntlich schlägt dieser ja auch oft fehl.

Mit den ganzen Negs, Openern, DHVs, Qualifiern, Direct Tactics, Critters, Gremlins und verbalen Arschbomben kann man ganze Abende füllen - die zentrale Frage für den PU Stil den ich für mich persönlich verfolge ist: Was ist wann angesagt. - ich übergebe an Loverboy von RSD:

Lately we've had a good number of posts focusing on lifestyle,

relationships, and social intelligence, learning how to be

cool, and learning how to be socially saavy.

All this is great, because a lot of guys are definitely

missing the big picture so it's good to reiterate the reason

in the first place of why learn all the lines, the routines,

the social dynamics and the theories, and to ask oneself

again why you are in the game.

But here is what's happening, and I just want to touch upon

the different classic groups of guys:

Guy A is the typical guy that those posts were meant for.

Came in the community because he wants to learn tactics to

pick up girls. He wants to know how to approach a woman, have

her be interested, kiss the woman, take her home etc.

These IMO are not about tactics/techniques as it is about

having some balls and social intelligence to play on the

dynamics of the situation, and being quicker on your feet and

always having something better to say or do than the girl.

Anyway we're familiar with guy A because he's the routine

social robot that opens 1000s of sets, becomes a validation

junkie, and sees everything as a "set."

For guy A it's no longer about pickup but about how many

indicators of interest he can generate so he can feel better

about his low self esteem, and the mathematical calculation

of how to win a set over.

Guy B on the other hand is at the other extreme. Hears that

routines are "excuser" mentality. Go direct. Be a man. Don't

be scared to bang chick! He thinks that his lack of success

is merely because he's not 'man' enough and that alone.

So he learns to grab girls. Stand tall and alpha. He walks

into a regular coffee shop and starts shouting at customers

catching up over a drink, and even gets kicked out... of a

coffee shop... he is the opposite of guy A.

Dropped all the tactics/techniques but has no social grace,

because he thinks that it's 'cool' to break free from the

'matrix' and fly like Neo because it's obviously cool to be

outside the matrix and think that everyone in the world is

being 'sheep'.

Guy B is no longer about pickup but about the adrenaline rush

from doing things your parents would never approve. It's

reverse psychology at work.

Guy C is the new breed that we're seeing more lately. He's

the guy who probably used to be A and/or B, probably been in

the game for at least a couple of years, and have reached a

certain point where he has become complacent with gaming but

has gotten lays under his belt.

He sees the bigger picture. He drops all routines, all game,

and still has girls still chasing him. He goes out and has a

decent social lifestyle so he goes to have fun with his

friends and doesn't game at all.

He is more socially calibrated and intelligent than type A or

B. But he doesn't do any approaches. He doesn't even escalate

after talking to some broad for an hour.

He gets girls, but not the ones he wants. He would not be

able to perform because his skillset is just no longer sharp.

What he doesn't realize is that this happens everyday.

It's a natural phenomenon for people to have sex. It doesn't

make him a pick up artist. For guy C, it's no longer about

pickup but about delusions that he's 'made it'.

These are all extremities. The key is developing yourself to

become a hybrid of all 3. Knowing when to be guy A, guy B, or

guy C, or a combination.

Knowing that guy C may be the ideal guy for the LIFESTYLE and

FRAME. But if you want to keep your game sharp, guy C won't

do it.

There is a reason you can learn this stuff... if you want to

maintain a polished skillset, you still need to play the game

and have the SKILLSET of guy A. Keep the social wit and

naturalness, but be able to use skillset in a cold approach

situation.

Same with guy B - knowing that the balls and MENTALITY of guy

B will also come in handy in situations where you require

that edge to overcome being a pussy in doing an approach or

being more dominant and confident.

Each of the 3 broad generalizations I wrote above were

actually real life anecdotes from real life scenarios.

It was pretty shocking, to all of us, to hear that a bunch

of guys got kicked out of Starbucks. How often does someone get

kicked out of a coffee shop??

You know something went wrong there.

My point is not to say a particular camp has bad teachings

because I genuinely think that everyone with good intentions

has something good to teach.

On the other hand, to point out that what guys end up seeing

is one LINEAR way to do things instead of opening up to accept

that a HYBRID is required in order to be a successful pick up

artist.

At the same time, the 'hybrid PUA/natural' should also make

sure to:

(1) keep developing other parts of your life, and have

something beyond just 'game'. If he has a job, don't neglect

that. If he has a double life like Kent Clark/Superman, make

sure there is a BALANCE.

The way to integrate it is to have a flexible frame and

identity. You don't need to be one OR the other. You don't

have to choose between swimming or going to the gym.

You can do both.

(2) develop SMOOTHNESS APPROPRIATELY - whether you are guy A,

B or C.

Smoothness is a thing I see that even many top guys still can

do with development. Smoothness in MOVEMENT, facial muscle

transitions, voice, gestures, delivery - until it becomes

NATURAL.

This means interactions whether as the game spitting

machine or the laid back natural who gets gamed, have the

interaction FLOW.

(3) living in the moment, dropping the ego and learning to be

state independent (credit to Tux for this) One of the biggest

things I've overcome in the past year is moving slowly away

from outcome dependency and enjoying the interactions and

process.

Easing the highs and lows by LIVING IN THE MOMENT.

(4) don't get sucked into a linear pickup model. It's a

skillset, and there are many ways to drive a car. Everyone

will do it differently. No one can say that there is only one

way to drive it.

Girls are still people. People are human and genes dictate a

lot of human behaviour but there is a reason why people like

different things and everyone is unique.

No one can tell you how to live or the right decision to make.

There is no such thing as a wrong decision. But as a wise man

once pointed out, the difficult decision IS often the right one.

(5) Lifestyle development should not revolve around pickup.

Nothing wrong with not approaching constantly. Nothing wrong

with having a girlfriend. Nothing wrong with buying a girl a

drink.

Don't let all the 'rules' dictate your life. There's much

more out there in this world than controlling/dominating

every single interaction in your life. In fact I've found

myself to be a natural in many parts of my life outside of

this lately.

Life is flowing.

Things seem to just come to me easily my way these days.

Maybe it's just a period in my life, but I'm in no way

controlling or manipulating situations to happen.

They just seem to... just go well.

And the last point I can add before I have to jet off (in

Spain with other half and I'd rather go hold her than type,

but hey, bros before hoes)

Learn to be content with what you have- one victory calls for

another, and is indeed a trait of successful people, but at

some point, learn to be happy with what you got, otherwise

you'd never be happy...

In this moment, I may not be as rich as I will be in 5 years,

my game may not be ultra ninja level 1000, and my girlfriend

is not a rich oil tycoon or stripper of the year.

But I have grown so much in the past year (couldn't have done

it this fast without you guys BTW) I don't think I can be any

happier right now with what I have.

Good luck to ya'll.

Cheers,

LB

Word up! Das muss erstmal verdaut werden.

Es ist okay, wenn man mal über die Stränge schlägt und seine Grenzen austestet. Niemand kratzt ein Hausverbot hier oder ein Rausschmiss da (ich will ma niemanden anschauen, gell :D). Im Gegenteil, ich finde es klasse wenn man die Grenzen manchmal überschreitet um die eigenen Ängste die einen zurückhalten abzubauen. Das alles sollte natürlich nicht verwechselt werden mit solid game. Viele Dinge sind experimentell, riskant oder mehr ein Spaß und sollten nicht mit wirklich solidem pickup verwechselt werden.

Auf der anderen Seite bringt es nichts mit seiner Sexualität bis ultimo hinter dem Berg zu halten und sich dann zu wundern dass man in LJBF Land abonniert ist. Hier müssen Hemmschwellen abgebaut werden.

Hier ist soziale Kalibrierung gefragt und die lernt man nur im Field bzw. Real Life - jedenfalls nicht im Internet - vorausgesetzt man hört aufmerksam zu. Gurus wie Juggler legen nicht umsonst großen Wert auf die Gefühlslage des Gegenübers. Die Fähigkeit sich in die Situation einer anderen Person hinein zu versetzen ist absolut lebensnotwendig für einen PUA der solides Game entwickeln will.

TheTruth

[Boyplay 30]

(3) living in the moment, dropping the ego and learning to be

state independent (credit to Tux for this) One of the biggest

things I've overcome in the past year is moving slowly away

from outcome dependency and enjoying the interactions and

process.

Easing the highs and lows by LIVING IN THE MOMENT.

Auch mPUAs müssen die Nullpunkt-Philosophie erst entdecken ;) Hübsch! Geht aber weit tiefer.

[Grenzgaenger 8]

ah, das wirkt vertraut :)

habe schon einige A und B typen erlebt. und selbst habe ich momentan das gefühl so abzugleiten das C dominiert bei mir.

Aber was mir bei Loverboy in die falsche Richtung läuft: er spricht immer wieder von techniken und routinen, die es zu lernen und anzuwenden geht. und das naturals nicht so gut sind wie mPUAs.

das sehe ich anders. ich denke das ziel ist die technik als teil seiner selbst zu machen (von inner state, alpha, nlp (insbesondere pacing->leading), body language, etc.). denn was nicht teil von einem selbst ist wird immer wieder nicht authentisch rüberkommen, oder in den übergängen holpern.

also als ursprünglich nicht-naturals (was ja die absolut meisten sind) letztendlich ein natural zu werden, der allerdings mehr selbstbeobachtung betreibt und sich in die richtige richtung lenkt wenn er merkt dass es behinderungen im verhalten/ansichten etc. gibt.

Und erst dann ist man ein mPUA.

Gruss,

Grenzgaenger

[PUA_Im_Praktikum 13]

Den post habe ich auch vor einigen Tagen auf ASF gelesen. Sehr guter Post. Wie immer macht es die richtige Mischung.