Carlos Xuma über Screening (Englisch) Melde Dich an, um diesen Inhalt zu abonnieren 0

[Kuberr 7]

Ein Orginaltext von Carlos Xuma über screening

Screening

One way that a woman protects herself from seduction is by screening. It’s her

natural defense to help her reduce her feelings of attraction for men who she thinks

might not be what she’s looking for in a relationship. (Again this goes back to her

genetic need to find a good provider, as well as avoiding possible pain from what she

perceives as the threat of change in her lifestyle. YOU are that threat.)

What she will do is ask you questions to justify what she already suspects about

all men:

o “Are you a player?”

o “When was your last relationship? How long did it last?”

o “What do you want in a woman?”

o “Do you want a family? Children?”

o “Why haven’t you married yet?”

o “Do you have a house/want a house?”

o “Are you close to your family?”

The first rule of handling her screening is to never answer these questions

directly. You’ll be tempted, because in today’s society, men are guilty until proven

innocent, so you’ll feel like you have to justify yourself to her. There’s a little voice in

the back of a man’s head that screams: “No, wait! I’m a nice guy! Really! Just give me

a chance! Oh please, oh please!”

Evasion is the best strategy for any questions that are obviously meant to put

you on the defense. You must show her a man who is so secure in who he is, he

doesn’t need to run around validating himself to women – or to anyone! In the coming

chapters, I’ll show you how to effectively evade and redirect the conversation.

Screening vs. Establishing Trust

Not all of a woman’s questions at the start are directly or purposefully aimed at

screening you out. One of the big errors a lot of the seduction experts make on this

point is that all her questions are designed as a way of screening you out. They are

not.

Most of a woman’s questions reflect a legitimate need to

establish a level of trust for you.

Women need a certain level of trust to enable them to progress with you along

the chain of seduction. If you don’t work through her trust barrier, you won’t get very

far. She asks these questions to have you prove to her that you have a background and

you didn’t just arrive here on Planet Earth this morning with no ties and no established

background.

She wants to be sure you’re a real man, not a fly-by-night fraud and

womanizer – or creep. When she first meets you, you are nothing more than a twodimensional

cartoon character. What gives you the three-dimensional reality of a good

man who she can trust (and sleep with) is your connections and back-story. Where did

you come from? Who knows you? What is your background and history? What do you

do when she’s not around? These are the questions her mind is asking about you.

Trust takes time to develop, though. Most guys are walking around with so much

collective male guilt from the media telling them that they’re “bad men” that the

genuinely good guys (which are most of us) feel we have to work overtime to establish

this trust with a woman. We feel obligated.

Remember: Men mistakenly believe they’re guilty until proven innocent.

Not so.

You don’t have to answer her questions or jump through hoops to get out of the

“Can I Trust You?” Game.

Now, as I was saying, some of her establishing trust questions will be mixed up

with the screening questions. Some of these you can and probably should answer, just

so you don’t seem like a creep with no social validation. You could duck them out, and

she would still have a funny feeling about you in the back of her head that she couldn’t

understand or verbalize. You want her to believe that you are a normal guy with ties to

people and society. When she first meets you, her trust mechanism says that you could

have just jumped off a UFO straight from the Evil Planet of Bad Men, so she wants to

know that she can invest in you.

So how do you avoid her screening and establishing-trust process? You have to

keep control of the conversation, and you keep teasing her so that she has to qualify

herself back to you. The more you retain the element of challenge to her, the less you

have to prove yourself to her.

Vllt. könnte ihn ja jemand versuchen zu übersetzen x]

oder vllt. mal in nen thread über englischsprachige Texte verschieben hab aber nämlich auf die schnelle keinen gefunden ...

Juni 27, 2008 bearbeitet von Kuberr