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Quote from: neither21 on April 21, 2011, 06:40:53 PM "I think a strong presence is anyone who makes you submit or feel like submitting in some way. Anyone that elicits a strong emotional response, positive or negative, has a strong prescence. they do this by being unapologetic, by being vulnerable, by being unfazed. They make a strong PRESENCE by making themselves PRESENT in the PRESENT." Strong presence is actually being present. Living in the moment on your own agenda -- and this isn't a pre-planned agenda, more to do with just doing what you want, as your emotions and instincts tell you. So if you want to spread yourself out and stand comfortably, you do it. This is easier said than done, especially if you are inclined towards being in your head. It takes practice, which I will talk about more towards the end of this post. I want to clarify this because it is easy to misunderstand. I know I misunderstood it for years, but occasionally I get an insight which makes me remember what it's all about. I hope to share that with you now. If you are not present, you are responding more to the images in your head than the images received by your senses. Your brain overlays images on your surroundings and the events in your surroundings in order to give you a PREDICTIVE ability. This is where the intellect comes from, in my opinion. It is a survival mechanism via prediction. The man who has a PRESENCE as you call it is responding more to his environment and has fewer of these overlays. His actions are more fluid and dynamic rather than following set patterns established via this overlay of memories and emotional reactions to those memories. An example: If you have social anxiety, in your "overlay" you are seeing possible threats -- people doing transgressive things to you. This is almost certainly based on a web of previous experiences, providing images and emotional responses to those images from events long in the past -- an attempt to give you this "predictive" survival advantage. Someone who seems "present" either has different, friendly overlays (where in his memory web people are generally being cool to him), OR he is not experiencing those overlays very much at all. You could still hijack his overlays and have him drawn into a memory/emotive overlay by mentioning something powerfully resonant with him, such as something tragic that has happened to him. A friend of mine, Retard Wing from my old mASF posts, who is an example of someone who does not experience these overlays (I have questioned him considerably), went to prison for a few weeks for some misdemeanour a couple of years ago. Although he is mega-present, I can get him to feel like shit in an instant by mentioning his time in prison (which also elicits him telling me to "Shut the fuck up" ). The manipulative aspect of NLP, e.g. Speed Seduction, or salesmanship manipulations, is to get a person to become immersed in one of these overlays of your choosing, having him or her experience a past reality made up of memories and their associated emotions -- to bring them out of the present for your own purposes. Now we do this anyway -- it is part of language, and how language works. The difference with intentional manipulation is that you pre-plan which realities to bring them into in order to further your own agenda. Again, we do this all the time without knowing about NLP, and also often without malice. If for example you have said to a friend "Hey, remember when..?" then told them a funny story you both experienced, and you get them laughing, you are putting a past overlay of a fun experience over the current reality, to have you both experiencing fun artificially where the environment may not otherwise be providing that fun. This is how old friends get lost in their own little world, reminiscing. This is also suicide for things like socializing with other people, or pickup, if one or both of you find it difficult to return to the present quickly. Back to your example of a person with "strong presence", what that means is that they are responding more to the environment than to their memory overlays. I am going to theorize why this then causes others to experience them having "presence": -Everyone is receiving the same environment. Everyone is processing that environment to a larger or smaller degree. The present guy is experiencing it close to fully. The onlookers are probably experiencing overlays more than they are experiencing the environment. Because the guy is operating within the environment more, there will be a high level of congruence with his actions in that environment. An example: the guy walks up to the bar, looks the barman right in the eye, and with a smile says, "Hiya! How are you?" Someone experiencing an overlay however might wistfully say "Hi..." (think of Ross on Friends when he says hi in that whiny, depressive tone) because they are living in an overlay which is fear-based. Their action has less relevance to the environment. So I believe when we perceive someone as having "presence", we are seeing that his actions are more relevant to the environment. I think we have a bit of our brain geared towards spotting that. The more relevant we perceive his actions as being to the environment, the more "presence" we attribute to him. The more confidence we have in his actions. It is a leadership thing. It is about this in-built respect we have for people seen to be taking charge and working with the environment DIRECTLY, rather than holding back and planning, visualizing too much, or otherwise living in an overlay. The concept of spontaneity is, if you think about it, simply a stronger tendency to work with the environment that is right there, rather than working within the intellect. If you imagine someone wrestling a lion, being fully present to its every move, and defeating it, you might find yourself instantly finding respect for this individual, as an individual whose actions have relevance in the immediate environment, and someone capable of leading you through that environment safely. The modern day equivalent is the guy who can go to a social event and live moment to moment with the environment. That is the guy we feel has "charisma" or "presence". -The present person, by working with the environment, is actually affecting our environment -- he becomes a creator of our environment. This leads to spectatorism -- "What will he do next?" Again, we feel he has presence, because he is changing our world before our eyes. He is not just a player in the game -- he's the guy who laid down the field we're all playing on. -Another thing to consider is that, in our overlay, we fear or defer respect to "present" people because we have found their actions unpredictable or harmful in the past, since spontaneous actions will often be detrimental to others due to human nature. For this, imagine a guy who tramples weaker men as a dominance display to attract women. That sort of thing is very prevalent and is hardcoded in the human program. Therefore not only are we now paying more attention to this guy's actions in the environment, we also have an overlay saying "Watch out for that guy." That is a possibility based on your individual previous experiences. So we have a lot of factors coming into play, and you now hopefully understand why we regard some people as "present" or "having presence", and why it works. Now the question is, how do you become that? Many pickup products focus on having you do posturing such as purposefully straightening up your body language to display dominance and stuff. This is a red herring, because when you're present, you stand up straight anyway. Fixing the symptoms rather than the problem just zaps mental energy and makes you LESS present. My answer to becoming more present is not a magic bullet answer, but it will work, given enough time and practice. So you know, I am only perhaps 25% of the way, but I have not practised this as much as I should, because I was focusing on red herring techniques over the years which haven't really worked. Anyway, becoming more present is a practice. An ongoing devotion, which requires setting other goals aside while doing it -- the only goal that matters is "remain present". The best way I have found to begin practising this is: 1) Firstly to do enough meditation so you can spot your own overlays appearing. This is thoughts, images, sounds and the emotional responses associated with those elements which arise in connection to your environment, or arise just because the brain is on idle time and it's more interesting to fantasize than to look at a wall or garden. I have been at this point for many years now. I would say I was able to spot 90% of my overlays within a month of beginning meditation, and that was 15 minutes twice a day. That was a simple mindfulness meditation, whereby I watched my breathing and just watched thoughts/images/sounds and their attached emotions arise. I would just watch them. 2) What got me sidetracked was then using other methods like NLP and other mind control things, some of which I've written about, to try and manipulate those overlays. That is the wrong angle in my opinion. What you should do instead is choose to see these overlays as some relic of the past, and not relevant to the present environment. You need to be able to see them arise, then look right through them to the environment ahead of you. I imagine the overlay going out in front of me, fading away, then looking through it as it fades away to the ACTUAL environment. This unwires the overlay from the stimulus. It is like saying "Oh, I remember that, but I'm HERE now, so it's irrelevant". I recommend going somewhere busy like the town centre where you are going to have loads of stimuli, and therefore loads of overlays to look right through. Assume every irrational flinch, or emotive spike of fear, or whatever, to be a response to an overlay -- and look for that overlay. If you can't see it, simply look back at the environment and remember where you are. Then look back to the source of the flinch and you will find the flinch does not happen. 3) Repeat this everyday, and make it your default state. The overlays get "unhooked" quickly enough to start seeing your personal freedom increase within a few runs. The other great thing about this is that you can fall into a natural rhythm with within 10, 20 or 30 minutes of it. At that point presence becomes your default state, and the overlays become the FOREIGN state and are therefore easier to see through and detach. During this time you will have a lot of thoughts indistinguishable from your reality. You must focus on the present in order to keep distinguishing reality from overlays. You will likely need to do this "boot-up" session each time, but it will shorten in length with practice. NOTES: -When you get used to seeing overlays, some weird shit from when you were 3, 4, 5 and so on is going to come up. It is important to understand that so far whatever image this is has been contributing to your overlay, working invisibly beneath the surface to shape your reactions and perceptions of reality. Rather than getting sidetracked by how interesting this image is, immediately see right through it. Yes, some of them will be interesting and long forgotten. For example, I wondered why I had a shudder once when looking at a patio door. Luckily I was present at the time so saw the overlay immediately -- me running into a patio door when I was 6, thinking it was open. This shit is ALL anchored in there, in your brain, and it's time to unhook them from the real present. -I think some people hoard memories more than others, and consequently have more overlays. If you were gifted academically as a kid, it was because you stored more memories. So you either were conditioned towards hoarding memories through academia, OR you were good at academia because of an existing tendency to hoard memories. It could be either, and they are mutually reinforcing. Either way, these hoarded memories now make up your overlay. Whatever their content, you must see right through them. Again, do not be too sidetracked by how interesting they are (although this can have a therapeutic calming effect, and help you with self-examination, I recommend actually just diligently seeing through them and disregarding them as your master practice). The more memories you have hoarded, the more you will need to practise presence to unhook them all from your emotional framework. I want to point out that you do not lose the INFORMATION content of these memories by unhooking them; you just lose the emotional content, which is good. -I believe hoarding memories is a survival technology, with its aim at increasing your predictive ability ("if I can predict the threat, I can avoid it"). However I think for some of us this has been in overdrive, due to what seemed like a threatening environment in your formative years. Again, this is more memories to identify in your overlay and see right through. -Practising this kind of presence takes TIME and DILIGENCE. You must be out there every day, practising being present. Seeing the overlays arise passively, and seeing through them actively. My process looks like this: * "I am here in the environment" * Overlay arises * See straight through it, watch it fade * "I am here in the environment" The bits in quotes are not spoken as an internal dialogue, although they may well be when you first start out. It is simply an action you perform: look at the environment. All the while you will be actually looking at the environment and diligently exposing yourself to the sensory input as PRIORITY #1. Everything else gets sidelined when you are practising presence. No daydreaming AT ALL. It is entirely banned and you must stay present. It is the hardest for those of us with vast overlays built over years, and with the tendency to reside in our heads. BUT IT CAN BE DONE. And the habit gets stronger the more it is reinforced, like ANY habit. That is great news. Also, like I said earlier, I have found that after 10 minutes or so I kind of fall into a rhythm whereby looking at the present is the default state, and the overlays at this point are the FOREIGN state and can be seen through. It is a psychological muscle which can be strengthened. I believe if most of us worked out on a farm, or something active, outside, this WOULD be the default state. I think the culture of jobs sat inside staring at a VDU and living entirely in a world of projection in one's own mind is a major source of the epidemic of non-present living. -What I am writing above IS the answer. Every time I have had some level up in my life it has been directly connected to this practice of presence. HOWEVER, and I only noticed this recently, this is the reason why I have not yet taken it to its final conclusion: when you can be present, it almost always ends in some pleasing result for you -- EVEN if that is just "I felt good". Therefore presence can become a TOOL to further the agenda of the ego. I began factoring in presence to further my own goals. I'm putting PRESENCE where PRESENCE doesn't belong -- in the realm of future planning and schemes. Imagine going out to do some goal, with the idea that you'll just slip into presence to do it. You try and become present, but now your intellect is pounding the message "When are we going to do our plan?" This is constantly pulling you out of the present. This has been my downfall with the whole thing, which I am now diligently putting right. The presence is a return to a more natural way, a more spontaneous way, and there is not much room for planning within it. This is particularly hard for ego fiends to understand and accept, and is the direct roadblock on the path to freedom for the egoically inclined, which makes up most people in my opinion. Quelle: http://www.personalp...to-do-presence/