Hi Gabriel,

There are moments in all seductions that sort the men from the boys: approaching, going for a kiss, getting a number. Each time you tackle one of these situations you are giving the girl the chance to reject you. That's why it's scary. This week's email looks at getting a girl to give you her number and then, when you've got it, making sure you can convert it into another meeting.

Getting the number.

First up, most guys would admit that it can be a nervous moment. We know that we are vulnerable to the brush-off, which amps up the tension. We don't know whether we are going to get the number or not - no-one likes uncertainty. Add in the fact that most guys know perfectly well that they don't have the first clue how to ask a girl for her digits and you can begin to see why the moment is high-pressure.

I've been in the game long enough to see where most guys go wrong. Nine times out of ten, guys talk nervously for ten minutes and then stutter out a request for the girl's number. It doesn't work and they get blown out. It is possible to make a connection by small-talking someone, but it takes ages.

There are better ways to do it. Try this. The next time you are talking to a hot girl, keep in mind that you should be directing the conversation towards the goal of getting her number at all times. Those kinds of conversations are based around connections and common interests.

Here are a few questions that I might ask if I was trying to make a connection. Try them out.

What does she do when she isn't working?

How does she spend her time?

What food does she like?

What places does she like to go to in the evening?

Is she a party girl?

Does she like the arts?

What is something she would like to do but hasn't yet (e.g. salsa class)?

You might think that these questions would lead into the small-talk I told you to avoid. They don't have to. They are common interest questions that lead to possible connections. Here's how I would take a question like that and cash it into a number close.

Me: What places do you like to go in the evening?

Her: I like club/bar X.

Me: Cool, its good there, have you ever been to club Y?

Her: Yeah/No

Me: Well, me and some friends are going there on X day, you should come.

Her: Yeah/okay

You: Excellent, give me your number.

Or try this one:

Me: What do you like to do when you aren't working?

Her: I like to go to the theatre/exhibitions/museums/ballet.

Me: Have you been to that new show/exhibition/whatever?

Her: No

Me: Me neither, we should go

Her: Okay, sure.

Me: Great, give me your number.

Do you see what both have in common? Neither conversation features me directly asking for her phone number. By having her agree to do something with me, it's absolutely natural that she should want to give me her number. In fact, it wouldn't be unusual for the girl to offer me her number without me asking. It just seems like the thing for her to do. Smooth, right?

Now, I'm not saying it will always be easy to find a connection - you might be too busy to do it, or, for whatever reason, the conversation isn't flowing like the ones above. In those cases, pull out your trusty all-purpose number close. This one:

Me: You're cool/It's interesting talking to you, we should hang out.

Her: Yeah.

Me: What are you doing on Thursday?

Her: Blah. Here's my number...

Getting the meeting

Even after getting a number, it can be difficult to convert that into a date or another meeting. Here's what to do!

As she is giving you her number, take her phone and enter yours into the memory. That way, she'll know it is you when you call. Make sure you've arranged something you can do together as described above. And, most importantly, arrange a date there and then. If you've already arranged a date, she will be thinking about it. When you call her she will be expecting it. She'll take the call rather than screening it with voicemail and then binning your message.

There we have it - the do's and don'ts of getting phone numbers. Drop me a line if there are any parts of this that you don't understand and I'll do my best to clear it up. I hope these tips help, my Home Study Course will maximise your chances of getting the number, getting the date, knowing what to do on the date, and physically escalating. It has absolutely everything you need because it is everything I have learned on my journey from nothing to having complete choice. It's a must-have.

Until next time,

Gambler.