Direkt und frisch von Gambler:

Hi Gabriel,

Man. I'm pumped up just thinking about this. To quote from a film about pick-up that you've probably seen, this one is money. I can't remember how many times guys have asked me for advice on how to kiss a girl for the first time. It's a scary moment: it's only a few inches between your lips and her lips but it seems like a mile. It's the time when you put your cards on the table and go for it; it's also the time when a rejection has the potential to cut to the quick. Making an approach is a nervous moment. Asking for a number is a nervous moment. But going for the kiss trumps them both.

But what would you say if I told you there was a way to move in slowly, confidently and powerfully and get the kiss? You'd probably be willing to pay top dollar for that kind of dynamite information, right? You don't have to - I'll give it to you for free. Bet you're glad you signed up for these emails now, eh?

First things first. Most guys wait hours and hours and then lunge in for the first kiss. They get rejected because the girl is totally confused and, probably, freaked out. Other guys wait for the perfect movie moment to go for the kiss. Perfect movie moments don't exist and the kiss never comes. To guarantee you get the kiss, you need to do it smoothly.

But how? Here's how:

1. In the ten minutes as you work up to the lip-lock, you should be touching the imminent recipient in increasingly more sensual ways. Here's how I do it.

• First of all, I touch her arm for emphasis when I'm talking.

• Then, I touch her hand - a really good way is to take it when you look at a piece of jewellery she's wearing.

• Then I touch her hair - I ask her if it's her natural colour, if she wears it up, if she's ever cut it short or used to have it long... It doesn't really matter what you say, just run your fingers through her hair. If she lets you do that, you're IN. You're money. You can kiss her now. Stop reading. Kiss her. Do it.

• If you're still not sure, smell her hair.

• Then take her hand while you talk. If you have been carefully escalating your kino, she won't mind this. Don't stare at her hand, just take it. You're the man here, right? - act like it.

• Squeeze her hand. If she squeezes back, this is another big kiss-tell. No girl squeezes back if she isn't ready to kiss.

• Here's where you break out the sexual nerve gas: stop talking, tilt your head and look at her. Stare into her eyes. You can tell whether she's comfortable. If she is, kiss her.

You'll occasionally have bumps on the road, but you can get over them. What if she turns her face away when you try to kiss her? Kiss her cheek instead and then move onto her neck! She will usually turn around and kiss your lips. Most guys consider this to be a rejection and give up. DON'T! It isn't rejection - she's just testing you. Don't back away. If you brush it aside in a manly fashion, she'll respect you more and be turned on into the bargain. Bonus!

Touching the girl in the lead-up to a kiss is really important. But it's not all you should be doing. Establish a sexual vibe during the conversation too and you'll have a powerful weapon. You'll be unstoppable. Adding a sexual vibe makes sure the girl sees you as a potential lover rather than a friendly hairdresser. And this is how you do it:

2. Establishing a sexual vibe as you escalate the physical contact

• More intense eye contact

• Slower, smoother, deeper voice

• Look at her in a sexual way, start to look at her lips as well as her eyes and see if she reciprocates. If she does she is imagining kissing you. Go for it.

3. Sometimes, even with no work on your part, she will still want you. When a girl wants to kiss you:

• She squeezes your hand

• She looks at your lips

• She touches your chest instead of arm

• She is comfortable with hard eye contact even when no one is speaking

This stuff is golden. Promise me one thing - promise me you'll go out and try it. Okay? It's all very well learning from my emails, but you need to get into the field and practice. That's the only way your skills will improve. (Email me and tell me how you get along. I get a massive buzz when students crack their hang-ups and make progress.)

If you haven't been doing that, you might not be the type of person that can learn by "distance learning." That's not something to be too bothered about - plenty of guys have the same problem. But I can tell you one thing for sure: keyboard jockeys get nowhere. You'll only make progress if you force yourself to take action.